A group of old golfers who spend as much time at the bar of their club as they do on the course, are enraged to find out that the club is in serious financial difficulties, possibly leading to a serious threat to its survival.
They usually amuse themselves by racing their remote controlled golf trolleys around the course and taking the Mickey out of whoever’s ‘mishap of the day’ was the most amusing or spectacular, but their conversations become more serious when they are made aware of a plan to sell their golf club.
Their investigation begin to unearth a plot to deceive the members into thinking that the club had made a massive loss, the two plotters planning to embezzle the club to the tune of £300,000. The plotters also have also found a property developer willing to pay them a large bribe to enable a consortium to buy the club in order to create a golf and country club.
In the following days the body of one of the committee members is discovered in a copse on the course by a small, short sighted dog and his strangely dressed owner, Keith. The murder sparks the appearance of an incompetent Detective Inspector, a competent Detective Sergeant and an unruly Detective Constable who are all set the task of finding the killer. The victim is a man who has his fingers in a number of pies, one being the distribution of imported Chinese counterfeit golf equipment, another being a potential slice of a large cannabis drug ring.
The investigation is chaotic and incompetent, complicated by the discovery of a stash of drugs, its subsequent disappearance and the inability of the police to locate some of the main suspects.
Accidental as well as deliberate arson, involving Paddy McDermott, a professional firebug, and more murders spice up the plot further and red herrings point to many of the cast, as does numerous clandestine visits of some of the members to a local pole/lap dancing club called ‘Pole Cats’.