Countless others are grieving all over the globe for their loved ones. There are plenty of people who have endured more loss than I have, perhaps even losing many at once. Where there are those who grieve, there are those who do not know what to say. There are also those who think they know what to say to the grieving. I’m not certain which one’s words are more painful.
This is my sensitivity training for the non-grieving. Remember, everyone is different, but this pointer would have helped me a great deal. Don’t ask, “How are you?” Perhaps a person could show concern and say, “I care,” or “I am thinking about you,” or “You are on my mind.” Give the person a hug and say, “I am here for you.” I could have handled those words much better. I knew that people were concerned, but I couldn’t truthfully say that I was great, never been better.
I have tried and still try to avoid answering the question of how I am. It sometimes makes me want to tell them exactly how I feel, which would not be a good thing to do.
What do people expect the grieving to say? I said in the beginning, after I could actually hang around after the church service without crying, “I’m fine.” I had a friend remind me that I was lying in church. So when the next person asked how I was, I told him the truth-and it was not pleasant. I apologized the next time I saw him. Jesus is my source of strength, but even so, we still grieve.